Many years ago, I used to run marathons, until I experienced a spinal injury. Like most runners, I
wanted (or expected) 100 percent recovery so I could get back to training. However, instead of
decreasing, the pain progressively worsened. The back injury eventually led to all over
neuropathic pain. “You have chronic pain syndrome,” my doctors told me. But I could not accept
I’d likely never run another marathon (unless I wished to cause myself significantly more harm)
and I refused to accept the word chronic—until I had to.
There’s a theory in psychology called Radical Acceptance created by famed clinician, Dr.
Marsha Linehan. Radical acceptance means fully accepting our reality as it stands and letting go
of the “would’ve, could’ve, should’ves.” therefore eliminating difficult and pent up emotions
such as anger or bitterness. Radical acceptance does not mean if you accept something, then
you’re okay with it. Rather, it means once you accept your reality, you can then look forward to
the next steps—the “okay, now what?” It helps us explore how we can still gain happiness in
life, despite the pain.”
At the beginning of my chronic pain, I didn’t accept anything the doctors said. I isolated,
became seriously depressed, anxious, and fearful. I never felt more vulnerable in my life. Not
only did I lose, what I enjoyed, but I also lost, what I believed to be, my identity.
People with chronic pain or chronic medical illness often suffer silently. Even with
support from family members, many feel misunderstood, ignored, and patrionized. They don’t
want to feel like a burden to those they love. Patients fluctuate between feelings of hopefulness
and bitterness every time they meet with a new physician. Pain patients can, at times, experience
some control issues. After you lose so much control over your body, the brain tries to establish control in other ways—which can make interactions with the pain patient difficult for family or
friends. Patients often struggle with sleep, weight gain due to lack of movement, low libido, a
decrease in motivation or interest, and significant changes in mood.
The symptoms of chronic illnesses can vary greatly, but as a pain patient myself, I
believe people in pain (regardless of the type of pain) understand other people in pain. People not
in pain, do not understand people with pain.
I wanted to feel understood. I often wondered by many doctors do not ask patients with
chronic illness how their condition affects them emotionally. Some physicians don’t ask how the
pain has affected a patient’s relationships, social interactions, and intimacy with partners.
I became immersed in learned the psychological aspects of chronic pain and chronic
medical conditions. As it turns out, there was a direct connection between my bitterness and how
much pain I experienced every day. In order to treat the body, we have to treat the mind. Afterall,
health, also includes mental health. Here are some things I’ve learned throughout my journey to
become a pain psychologist:
1) Pain patients, whether consciously or unconsciously, tend to guard—meaning we tend
to tense up our muscles around the pain area, because that’s our defense to protecting
the injury. It’s important to try to catch yourself tensing your muscles and mindfully
make efforts to relax your muscles. Passive Muscle Relaxation videos on YouTube
are helpful to help guide you through relaxing all the muscles in your body.
2) Getting enough sleep is very important in allowing your body to repair itself properly.
Ask your doctor for any medications which may help you to stay in Stage 4/Repair
Sleep longer. Doctors can recommend non-addicting medications and herbal
supplement options.
3) Strong muscles can reduce pain. Any pain doctor, physical therapist, and occupational
therapist will tell you movement is your friend. This one’s tough, because how are
you supposed to move throughout the day with pain. You’ve got to find a way to
move that works for you. Some suggestions may be: chair yoga, for those who can
(swimming) or walking, or at the very least walking around your living room.
Movement will help to strengthen the muscles that have weakened and therefore may
reduce pain.
4) Finally, stress reduction is critical for pain reduction. I tell my pain and medical
illness patients they no longer have the luxury of unnecessary stressors when they can
be avoided. Muscle relaxation exercises while helping the body relax, also helps the
brain destress. Turn off (or reduce) your exposure to the news. Regardless of which
political side you belong to, news exposure can make a person feel angry, anxious,
and even fearful—all the emotions which will lead to more pain. Medical and illness
sometimes go hand in hand. Meeting with a clinician who specializes in pain and/or
trauma can help to determine whether or not you’re struggling with medical trauma,
and get the appropriate help accordingly.
Here at NOLA Wellness, we offer pain psychology treatment, trauma treatment, and
address concerns such as depression, anxiety, and interpersonal concerns.
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